Ep. 14: The Cursed Bird-Bunny, Rotten Eggs, and Cow-Riding Witches

Welcome back to The Cold Spot Confessions! This is a massive milestone episode for us, and we have some incredible news to share! Before we dive into the weirdness, we are officially announcing that our newest cohost has been born, and Vikki is officially engaged! > To celebrate the new life and the diamond ring, we’re keeping things light-hearted with some of the most bizarre Easter folklore and rituals we’ve ever found. We discuss the legend of the "Easter Bird"—a poor creature that got halfway transformed into a hare and was cursed to lay eggs once a year (and we’re convinced at least one is a rotten egg).

We also explain why you should never trust your neighbour if they happen to be a hare, and why you must hide your brooms on Easter. Apparently, if a witch can’t find a broom, she’ll just ride your cow until it dies. Charming, right?

From stealing livestock to diapers and wedding planning, we try our best to lift the mood with the weirdest holiday history you've ever heard.

Tune in for the chaos, the curses, and our biggest celebrations yet!

Share your stories with us so we can read them during Listener Week!  

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hey guys, and welcome to episode 14 of the Cold Spot Confessions podcast. This is Stacey. And Vicki. And Arya. Our newest addition to the little Cold Spot Confessions podcast. Yeah, so if you hear in the background, that is that's her trying to be included. She's currently trying to eat her hands. We may have to pass her off to someone else, but Vicki is wanting cuddles with her and not giving her up. So we're gonna see how it goes. We're gonna try and record with her here, but we'll we'll see how it goes. I'm not giving her back to Andrew. It's not happening. Oh anyway. So the last couple of weeks have obviously been a bit crazy. Yeah. Um, which is why we And delightful. Yeah, delightful, but at the same time like chaotic. Yeah. It's just we wanted to record last weekend. Last weekend was last weekend, yeah. We did end the recording. I don't know, because when what No, because last weekend I posted the video. Yeah, the week before the weekend before Arya was born. Yeah. It's just we filmed last week's episode. Two weeks ago. Three weeks ago. Three weeks ago. Got posted last week. Anyway. It was just the last couple of weeks before it was just been it's just been hectic. Yeah. I was heavily pregnant. I was tired. I couldn't recall I couldn't edit that episode. I kept falling asleep. Yeah, but then you literally When was Aria born? On the Friday, wasn't it? No, she was born on the Tuesday. Tuesday. Yeah, on the Friday I had posted the video. The the um episode huh?

SPEAKER_00 1:54

Yeah. No. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:58

No. Yeah. No, you posted the episode after she was born. Yeah, so she was recorded it on the Sunday. Yeah. It was supposed to be posted on the Friday, but you were heavily pregnant and well, pretty much gonna go into labor. Was it? I'm pretty sure it was the Friday before it was meant to be. Yeah, because it it was the Friday before. I was 37 weeks. And we were talking about how it so it was Yeah, because she's only two weeks old.

SPEAKER_00 2:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:33

I don't know that this isn't all about nonsense for doing that. Okay, right. I'm sorry for the really crappy intro. Point is Yes, that happened. And it's even more confusion now. Yeah. To be fair, I'm I'm pretty good. I'm I had more energy out here than I had when I was pregnant. You were literally uh walking around doing normal things like the next day. Well, yeah, but that I everyone kept saying when I picked the kids up, they're like, didn't you just have your baby yesterday? I was like, yeah, but I also have two three other kids. Yeah. You can't just not do that. I know that's the thing, Nina was like, What was she doing like leaving the house? Like, surely she wants to stay. And I was like, Yeah, but two of the kids are in school and she's also got Malachi. Like, she can't just sit down and do nothing. Yeah. That's the thing is it doesn't just stop. It that I think a lot of people think it does. I wish it did. But it really doesn't. When as soon as you have that second, third, or fourth baby, you can't. Like that's why you with you have one baby, it's like you can just not do anything for two weeks and it'll be completely fine. But see, with your first, even the pregnancy, you can like take naps, you can do all sorts. As soon as you've had the second one, nope. No fucking way. Especially if you've got three of the fuckers. Yeah, that's true. Honestly, I had to do school run every time I've done school run on my own this week. I haven't seen you at school run at all. I know that's the I've not seen you at all. It's because even picking them up, I don't see you. It's because so at the moment Andrew finishes at half um at twelve, so he's only doing half days. So he finishes at twelve, and so we leave super late, and then I just jump out the car and pick the kids up. Oh, okay. So we don't have to wait in the car park with the kids. Fair enough. Um, so that's why you haven't seen me then, and then in the mornings you haven't seen me because I'm late. To be honest, I'm late every morning. So if I've been getting them to school at like 5-2, sometimes at nine o'clock. Today it was nine o'clock. I'm surprised I haven't actually seen you because I've literally been drop dropping Enzo off at like five to nine. Yeah. And he's his he's supposed to be in there for ten, two. And I I'm literally there like nine o'clock, five to Yeah, it's a spin chaos. So that's basically I mean, that's my poltergeist as well. It's just you had a baby. I had a baby. My poltergeist is I got engaged. You did get engaged. I did somewhere. You have to do things just I didn't plan it. I know, but like what so Vicki has this like fun thing of her life whenever there's a big event in my life. There's gonna be something going on in my dude. Is happening. Like, so I had with Cass, I was obviously pregnant for nine whole months, and then Vicki and her partner Nino decided to get together, like But nobody knew then though. Nobody knew. Like me and Nino is we Oh you know, you did find out after Yeah no, because our anniversary is the 5th of February, yeah. So day before your birthday, yeah, and then also And then you guys found out after Cass is born. Yeah, and then Cass's birthday is 23rd of February, which is two weeks before, and then Vicky gets engaged two weeks before Ari is born. I think it was a week before. Yeah. I think it was a week before because we're in she's obviously obsessed with me and wants to be part of my big things. I didn't tell Nino to post me then, okay? He was supposed to at the Eden project, but he forgot to bring the ring with him. That doesn't surprise me. So I got home and he was like he he took Enzo into the kitchen though, which which made it, he made Enzo a part of it, which to me that just best thing ever. And Enzo was there holding the box and was like, go and then after he was like, I was gonna do it today at the Eden project, but I forgot the ring. And I was gonna give you my ring until like we got home, and then I thought, no, you probably wouldn't want that, and you'd probably think I was joking. To be fair, I I can't think of anything worse than being in public. He knew I wouldn't want it in public, yeah. But it was like dead that day. There was highly there, and he said he was gonna take me to like you go up like a lift to go to like this other player area bit. And he was gonna there was like a little side part that was like nobody there. He was like, I was gonna do it there, and then realised I didn't take it with me. And I was like, You're a fucking idiot. Wow. Oh well, at least he did it. After eight years, he finally did it. And after asking mum for it and like it was almost a year ago. Yeah, I think it was about a year ago. Yeah. Good things come to those who wait. Yeah, exactly. But yeah, so that's been our eventful couple of weeks. Um Arya's making dog sounds right now. Panic. She's dreaming. Uh I have tried to pass the baby off to her dad, but Vicki is very reluctant on it. I haven't seen her all week.

unknown 8:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 8:10

Yeah, but I've seen her every day. Yeah, that's why I'm having the cuddles. Yeah. But um, anyway, shall we get into today's episode? Now we've done, I don't even know, we've just been talking for eight minutes about random shit and um and updating everyone on our lives, but they probably don't care. They want to hear what we're gonna be talking about. I mean, some of them have been waiting for Arya to be born. Yeah. Yeah, true. So, you know.

unknown 8:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:40

And now you can hear her dreaming away, pretending that she's eating. Alright, so today we are talking about the S Burney. So we thought since it's only a couple of weeks into Easter, and we're really shit at actually posting the videos or the posting the podcast on the actual event day. I figured let's just get it done. Yeah. We've done it then. I mean we've done Christmas, the beginning of December. I know. Didn't do Christmas again. Listen, we listen, Linda. We are doing things, okay? We're still getting it done. It's just we do them early. It's our ADHD. Can you then do it on time? Um you can either be early or like never in between. So let's just go early. And also we have little hyperfixations where it's like, oh yeah, let's do Easter, and then it's on board of that. I also do want to cover the Epstein files again. Oh, yeah, because more have been released. I think maybe next week that will be we've released the Epstein files Easter.

unknown 9:51

God no.

SPEAKER_00 9:52

We're just lovely.

SPEAKER_01 9:54

You wanna you want a really nice thing time wrap? Let's unwrap the Epstein files. Anyway, before we go down that rabbit hole again. Yeah, pun intended, considering we're talking about the Easter bunny. How excellent. Um my god, I should just retire. With what money? We have no money to retire. Yes. We needed this to do well so we can retire. Come on, guys. Share this round. We need to get sponsors. Right. So, but yeah, blah ba ba ba ba. Oh, that's something that Malachi started to learn. I'm trying to keep teach him, I want the psych your blood. And then I go, bah bah, and he goes, ah, ah, ah. He doesn't want the time, and he just walks around the room going, ha ha ha. He hasn't he hasn't learned the um the I want the psych your blood bit, but he's gonna learn it. Oh, and Zo has learned, see ya later, alligator. And he goes, in a wild crocodile, in a bit mid-jit. Give a hug, love bug. Well, he says it to everyone. Ruby goes, see ya, and then legs it. No, Jackson just goes, yeah, baby. And bear in mind, Jackson's is really like he says calling it's like Disney eyes, he's super cute, and just goes, yup baby, all the time. Right, anyway, she used to get distracted today. So we are talking about the Easter bunny um and the dark side of the Easter bunny, okay? So I know for like Easter, we you always think about you know hollow chocolate eggs, the best part. Yes, you know, childhood. God, we got in so much shit of eating chocolate eggs when we were little the barbies. Mum got so mad at us. Yeah. We and Vicki had this habit, and I don't know if you noticed, but when we're together, we we go a bit crazy. And then when there's sugar involved. Like chocolate. And like we're doing about 90s chocolate when it's just it it's full of sugar. It's not a good thing. Oh yeah, the the proper good stuff, not the palm oil crap that we have now. Yeah, like it's the red. This was like the half cup of milk and full cup of sugar. Yeah. Yeah, we um we we we got grounded one year for being too hyperactive. And we d we could not stop laughing at the dinner table. And I don't even know what for. I think we were literally trying to eat our oyster and midstays we were crying at the table because we're laughing so much. Yeah, so mum kicked us out and made us go to our rooms. But we shared a room, so it didn't make a difference. And then we started eating the feet off the barbies and the hands and chewing them. Do you remember that Barbie that I had that apparently the hair grew? But it was just literally hair on a spring. Yeah, so we used to get pencil and catapult them. We had the jumbo pencil because it was a big hole in our head, and then we holes in the ceiling. Yeah, we used to put the jumbo pencil in the spring, load it up, and then it used to shoot into the ceiling, and then we well, we would come in and there'd be like holes all over the ceiling. We used to try and patch it up with paper and put in the like toilet roll. Right, anyway, so that you you get what I'm talking about with the whole Easter thing. Now that's when we think about within Easter, we think chocolate eggs, yes, um, and you know, a nice nap after a nice big Easter Easter dinner, right? But um, I mean, that's back in the day before you have children, you can't nap now.

SPEAKER_00 13:52

No.

SPEAKER_01 13:54

I mean, you could take a drink now. You could you you'll probably get arrested for forcing a child to nap with medication, but I mean there there is there's if there's a will, there's a way. That doesn't work. I mean it depends what you give them. Yeah, but then that's again arrested. Yeah, that's very true. I would never do that, by the way. I'm not endangering my children. No, no, no, we love our children. We love our children. We might not like them sometimes, but we love others. But anyway, so on g on Easter morning, Easter bunny comes, leaves eggs around, which makes no sense at all. But um, it leaves eggs, and you have a lot of sugar, and you have the great but the best best morning eating all the chocolate in the world. Oh yeah, until you literally feel physically sick and can't eat anymore, but you still do eat more. Yes, but um I'm gonna ruin Easter Bunny for everyone. So yeah. Thanks for that. You're welcome. So before he was this cuddly corporate mascot in a vest, you know, throwing out Easter eggs everywhere. Because I'm sorry, why does a bunny have eggs? Oh I don't know. I've never questioned it w until thing is we kind of like the little Easter chicks and stuff. Yeah. Chicks and eggs, yes, I get. Bunny rabbit doesn't make sense. I I d never got my head around that. No. But hey ho, it's all because Jesus got nailed to a cross. Oh no, it was because he He got nailed on the cross on the Friday or something like that. He had a really fun party. And then he got really hungover, slept off in a cave, came out Sunday, was like, hey guys, and everyone's like, oh my god, we thought he was dead. We really had a really bad hangover. Yeah, he just slept for those few days. Um, we're gonna insult so many Christian people. I'm so sorry. I don't think anybody who has a religion listens to our podcast. But if they do. Well, if they listened to the first episode and they carried on listening, I think they kind of know where we go on here. Yeah. But anyway, so Easter Bunny was actually a creep. That doesn't surprise me. Like, imagine a creature that literally never closes its eyes and shows up at your house to decide if you're good or bad.

SPEAKER_00 16:27

What the f Oh sorry, Arias. I just scared her.

SPEAKER_01 16:30

Well, I made a jump. She put her hands in the air, like she just don't care. But you hate it. Um yeah. So yeah, just imagine that. He you've got this All I can think of now is Five of the Nights of Freddy. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I picture. Is it the Animatronics game? I don't know. I just know it's Five Nights of Freddy and it's scary as hell because it jumps at you and that's why I don't play. Like creepy ass bears. Yeah, it's the animatronic. So yeah, this creature turns up at your door, decides if you're uh good or bad, doesn't blink. Why doesn't he blink? I don't know, but listen. I mean, you have Santa, he decides who's good and bad. Exactly. So this is a bit of a weird why isn't this bunny blinking? I don't know. So basically today we're gonna do a deep dive into why the Easter why the Easter bunny slash hare is what they could go by, the Easter hare, is actually a shape-shifting, moon worshipping judge that will give Krampus a run for his money. No, for fuck's sake. No, because Krampus was already creepy as it is. Yeah, so grab a drink, settle in, and let's get a bit weird. My notes I said, let's let's talk get oh my god, it's about to get weird, but I wanted to make it more weird for my dyslexia.

unknown 18:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 18:01

Everyone feeling weird. I am now. Oh my goodness, I should not be allowed to record. Who thought it was a good idea to give us microphones and a forecast? Apparently you can just make one now. Yeah, this is the thing. Is um if they didn't want weirdos on the internet, they should not have given us the internet. There's no there's no uh there's no one to say no to us. Nope. Um anyway. What are they gonna do? Burn us. Well, exactly. They could. Nah. Oh, excuse me, Ari, can you not heavily breathe over there? Because I'm gonna have to edit you out. Do not edit her out. She is putting her own thoughts into it. She's signing her. She's already done with me. She's so funny and thinking, you know what, I'd love some chocolate. Yeah. I think she's just done with me already. Yeah, probably. I mean she has been literally like inside you for nine months. Yeah. She's she's already listened to our episodes. She's like, what the fuck am I coming into this world to? Like, she decided to she wasn't late. She was early. So she obviously wanted to be a part of this episode. There is that. There is that. Yeah. So, first things first, why does the bunny lay eggs? Like I mean, I would like to know that answer. I just mean like we just accepted it, right? Like the actual myth is straight out of a sci sci-fi movie. So there is there's a goddess, okay? Called Ostra. I don't know if I was pronounced that right. I think we've established goddess. A goddess. Okay, cool. I'm down for that. Yeah. Called Ostra. It's about O-S-T-A-R-A. I don't know if that's correct. I'm calling it Ostra. That's fine. Ostara. That sounds a bit more girly though, doesn't it? Ostara. Ostara. I'm gonna call it Ostara because I like that. Okay. Um, it might not be her name, but I mean she's a bad bitch. I'm sure she'll be fine. She will listen to us right now because so this is probably like her awake period, and she's like, what the fuck? That's not my name. Well, as long as she's a good goddess, you know. I don't know if she is. Hey, we will have a bad day, is it? Let's let's just find out. Let's find out. She it just could be an emotional week. The guy you're just gonna completely gaslight, just blame it on the fucking hormones. I mean, I've been crying at everything recently, so I mean, yeah, me too. I don't blame that on hormones too. Yeah, I literally made a video on TikTok about it the other day because I God I remember crying over the fact that Enzo was perfect. Literally, like I think it was like a week after he was born. You know, walked into the room and I was bawling my eyes out. Yeah, you're really nice about your children. Are Arya's feet literally look like rabbit feet. Do you not remember Enzo's really long fingers? Yeah, have you seen her fingers? She has really long fingers, too. She's got little mittens on. Oh yeah, she if you look under them, she has little witchy hands. Anna, let me move my microphone, I'll look at them later. Yeah, she has witchy fingers and witchy feet. Well, no, she has witchy fingers and hair feet. And she also has a hairy back. So she she's all animals. That's fine. We like a little wild girl. I like them wild and feral. She don't take no shit from no one.

unknown 21:37

Right.

SPEAKER_01 21:39

So let's get back to this. Yeah. So there's a goddess called Ostara. And legend says that she found a bird in the snow with frozen wings. Okay. Okay, so to save it, she turned it into a hare.

SPEAKER_00 21:58

I love this. Love legends so much.

SPEAKER_01 22:03

You would have thought to save it, let's just put it somewhere nice and warm to throw up wings and you know that's about no no no, I'm gonna turn it into a rabbit. Do you know what this bird needs? It's not like he needs long ears and bouncy legs. It's like why do you think you just turn into a bigger bird with more feathers? Yeah, or just warm it up, you know? I mean that's how you make chicken. That's how you make food, yeah. But you you could just, you know, gently warm the bird and it'll be fine. Yeah. So I mean, who knows? I don't know what this woman was on, but this god uh sorry, not woman, goddess. She took the mushrooms. Yeah, she did she's done something. She must have been some sort of psychedelic to be like, oh, this poor frozen bird. Rabbit. Run rabbit, run rabbit. Okay. But here's the catch. The transformation didn't totally take. So it turned into a rabbit from Anne Summers. From Anne Summers. The rabbits! It did not turn into a vibrator. You never know. She looked at a bird and turned it into a rabbit. Oh, I mean, maybe she was looking through the magazines too much and was like Exactly. You know what she was like, you know what? It's been a tough week. I ran out of cornflakes. Right. Okay, so why can he get to the story without being interrupted with weird shit? Yeah, so the transformation didn't take. It was this weird hybrid, so it had the body of a rabbit, but the plumbing of a bird. Um, okay. Okay. So it basically so it's basically a bird trapped in a mammal's skin forced to lay eggs once a year as a reminder of what they used to be. So that is why there is a rabbit that lays eggs.

SPEAKER_00 24:17

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_01 24:22

So see, I thought, you know, the the goose that lays golden eggs, I thought that was a bit weird.

SPEAKER_00 24:30

But once a year, a rabbit is forced to shit out an egg. I don't get it. Can you imagine?

SPEAKER_01 24:43

You're like, oh fuck, this year's coming around again. How many eggs am I gonna have to shit out? The thing is, is it just one egg that you have to do? Do they come out painted? I think do they come out chocolate? I mean, I assume how big are these eggs? Are they like They're probably red stained because I can't imagine a rabbit's butthole is big enough for big eggs to come out of. I mean, have you seen rabbit poo? Yeah, they're tiny. Exactly. Maybe that's why you paint the eggs because it's like the blood from the rabbit's bumhole. It's already a red egg, so you're like, I'll just decorate it. But the thing is, if you hatch that egg, would it come out as a chicken? Well, a bird or a rabbit. Or chocolate. Or a caterpillar. Never know. Maybe it's poo-shaped and um not poo-shaped, it's egg-shaped poo. And that's why it's chocolate. That's why we have Nesquig. No, Nesquik's not Kellogg's, is it? They're two separate brands. No, yeah, they're two separate. Anyway, let's get back to the story, shall we? Because it's gonna get weirder.

SPEAKER_00 25:59

How can it get weirder than that? So that's not like so.

SPEAKER_01 26:11

Yeah, basically, once a year, this rabbit is forced to lay eggs to remind itself of what it used to be.

SPEAKER_00 26:20

I don't think it needs reminding.

SPEAKER_01 26:22

No. Um but yeah, back in the day, people were generally s superstitious about hairs. So they're born with their eyes open. Ugh. I didn't know that. They don't live in holes and they sleep with the eyes wide open. I did not know that hairs slept with their eyes open. I wouldn't want to be near one. Especially I did wonder the difference between like a rabbit and a hare. I just thought it was like the size difference. Yeah, one poops out eggs. One lays eggs and sleeps with his eyes open. The other one is normal. Yeah, basically. Um but yeah, so they they're born with their eyes open, they don't live in holes, and they sleep with their eyes wide open. So people used to think they were uncanny because they looked like they were always watching you, even when they were dreaming. I'm watching you. Where do they sleep? Do they just sit upright and just with their eyes open?

SPEAKER_00 27:33

What if they don't like sleep in the like holes and like burrows? Where do they sleep?

SPEAKER_01 27:42

I don't know. Cause predators are out there, like foxes and stuff, they'll just snap them off if they're just sat there. Yeah. Honestly, I d I don't apparently Arya wanted to be a bunny rabbit and was just with her arms. She keeps doing the newborn thing when they just freak out and they shove their arms everywhere.

SPEAKER_00 28:04

Oh, you move on to the room. It keeps falling over. Ready?

SPEAKER_01 28:10

Yeah. Okay. So here's the part that really gets me. You know how Santa has the naughty and nicest? Yeah. The original Easter hare was the one who started the whole judging children vibe.

SPEAKER_00 28:28

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 28:29

I mean, this rabbit should not be judging anyone. Well, this hair should not be judging anyone. Anyone who poops out eggs who's not meant to poop out eggs should not be judging anybody. You're in no place to judge mate. In 17th century Germany, the Osterhaz, which apparently you pronounce it as Osterhazer. Osterhaza? I'm not trying to take the mecha out of any German people or anything like that. It's just that's apparently how you you pronounce it. Okay? According to us. Actually, according to Gemini, it spelt it out the way you meant to say it. Well or so dyslexic. Yeah, so I'm probably still not doing it properly. But the Osterhazar was basic is basically the first Easter bunny. That's what the Easter bunny is called. Okay. Let's call them Oster. Yeah. Because that's a cute name for the bunny. So that doesn't blink poops at the eyes. Yeah. Let's give him a cute name. So basically, the what did I say his name was? Oster has her. Right, yes. So Oster, the original Easter bunny, um, he wasn't just like handing out treats to everyone. He was a moral judge. Okay. Okay. So if you were a bad kid, he didn't just skip your house. It was seen as a literal omen of bad luck for your whole family's farm if you were, you know, a bad kid. So if your child is a little shit, your whole farm is fucked. Yeah. Like. No wonder they used to beat their kids. Fucking hell. Osta has gonna get you. No, why? Why am I I don't dread their impression? Why can I be good at accents? Right, anyway. I'm not gonna do that again, okay? But basically, if if you're a bad child, you're doing your whole entire family's farm and well-being. Wow, that's a lot of pressure to put on like a little five-year-old. Yeah. M my far my farm would be just ruined. Up in flames. There'd be loads of shit eggs around. Stink bombs, I don't know. You would just have a load of hairs that can shitting out rotten eggs. That would be the worst, wouldn't it? If that's actually what you'd get, is you'd rather have no farm, like it'll burn to the ground over a hair that shits our rotten eggs. Can you imagine if that's what you'd get? Is you'd get a a rotten egg, or you'd get a chocolate one. You don't know until you crack into it. Oh god, this is a good one. Have you been good this year? Nope. I wouldn't trust it. I've like, you were a little shit yesterday. I'm not trusting my egg. You open it outside. Go over there and open it. Go to the end of the street. Or do one of our mother's specials. Give it to the neighbour. Give it to the neighbour. Open it in the neighbour's garden. Send the omen over there. Alright. I get this. There was a massive crossover with witch folklore. So people generally believed witches could shape shift into hares to steal milk from cows or ruin the harvest. I just love the mindset of the people that come up with this back whenever this was in the 17th century or whatever. Like, people must have been like super fucking crazy. It was this crazy time. Like, yeah, did you see that woman last week? She shaped or shifted into a hair and she stole the fucking milk. Like she came into my garden to my farm and she fucking changed into a hair and she was milking my cow. Like, why is there a hair milking a cow? Jerry, lay off the mushrooms. Come on, we told you stopped foraging for mushrooms because you always picked the funky ones. Meanwhile, this little kid's dressed up as a bunny rabbit going around stealing all the milk. Yeah, so there's right, so alright, there are these old court records where hunters claim they shot a hare in the leg and the next day the town witch, in quotation marks, because no one else can see me doing it, had a limp. So when you saw a hare in your yard at Easter, you weren't thinking, oh cute, you're thinking, is that my neighbour coming to hex my cows? You know what I think about that? That's what I think when I see my neighbour in my garden. You would think that they would think, Oh, there's a hare over there. I'm gonna cook that. Yeah. That would make a good Easter. Instead, they're going, is that Jenny? She kind of looks like Jenny. She got a bit of ginger upon her. I know Jenny's a ginger. Yeah, she got that, she's got that nice ass.

SPEAKER_00 33:50

Oh, that's Steve over there, he's bold.

SPEAKER_01 33:56

Oh, I knew that was Margaret, a nosy little bitch. I genuinely want to be like that when I'm older. Like I'm gonna be the craziest old lady ever. I'm gonna make up so much shit. I'm 100% back. Back in my day. That when they see a rabbit, it's an e-bite.

SPEAKER_00 34:21

When I'm old.

SPEAKER_01 34:22

Jack's gonna be 100% believe it. Jackson would. Cass won't. Cass isn't gullible. Jackie would just be like, he would 100% wrong with that. He'll tell everyone. He'll believe it for the rest of his life, but let me tell him otherwise. But I I have I need to come up with something like that because mum used to do it to us when she used to tell us she was a witch. And she used to make me really believe that she was a witch. I used to try and go around and find trying to find a broom. Yeah. She but then also I d I love that. Do you know Ali told the kids? Um, so our childhood friends, um, they they lived up the road from us. Um literally, like you could like we used to like run to each other's houses, and it was like what, two-second run? Like we could literally shout from one side of the room. So, Mum and Allie seemed to think it was a really good idea to tell think like of some really crazy things and try and make us believe it. And like obviously, we're just gullible gullible shits. We believed everything. We didn't have the internet. We didn't we couldn't look it up, we had no way of verifying this information. But Ali um told Safi and Abby that she was Madonna Believe her Eva's laughing. So, yeah, they believed, they 100% believe that when they went to sleep and stuff that Ali was this big pop star. That's brilliant. But you can't verify it. No, now you can you couldn't. Like, yes, Google was a thing, but you had to have dial-up, so you'd have to wait. Yeah, and even then there wasn't that many facts on the internet at that point. No, and also most of the time we were told to go play outside. We weren't allowed on the computer most of the time. If you're allowed on the computer, you're going on there to pay on paint. Yeah. But um, yeah, that's what Ali decided to tell. So I need to come up with some funny thing that the boys are gonna believe. I mean, we convinced Ben and Sam that you were a um elf. Yeah, we did. Yeah. Anyway, let's get back to the story. So yeah, we're basically the people thought that their neighbours were hares. So that's fun. So we also need to talk about the apparently there's a quote. A quote? Is it a quote? I don't know. But basically a saying, yeah. As mad as a march hare. So have you ever seen hairs box? Like box each other. Yeah. So they stand on their hind leg hind legs. Why can't we just say the back legs?

SPEAKER_00 37:23

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 37:24

It's on their behind. Basically, they stand on their hind legs and they just beat the absolute shit out of each other. I feel like that's what us we were like when we were playing rumble on the jungle on the sofa when we were younger. Oh, we've got so many broods like that. I mean, did anyone else do that? I'd love to know in the comments below if anyone else did that when they were younger with their siblings. But you basically you have one sibling on the one end and you're on the other of the sofa, and then you just literally kick the shit out of each other until someone falls off the sofa. It's like what we used to do all the time. We called it and who came up with calling it rumble in the jungle? I don't know. Because the thing is, all the like games that we used to play. I think it was me because I had a game on the um Nintendo on the yeah, the Game Boy, and it was called Rumble in the Jungle, or so it was called something like that, and I loved that game. And I if for some reason my head, when I say rumble in the jungle, it literally like triggers the game in my head. So I don't know. Maybe it was me or you. I don't know. We used to basically just kick each other up. All the games that we used to play as kids, like um British Bulldog and 4040 and stuff like that. I thought they were just games that we made up, apparently. I've literally seen it all over Facebook. No, those ones are not. No, it's all across the country. Yeah. And I'm like, how who all these people? How did everyone find out? I don't know. Because this was all before the internet. Yeah, but then you you talk about stuff at school, don't you? And then I guess it just goes around like that. Yeah, but the whole Rumble in the Jungle wasn't the name I know one of us came up with that one. That one's like a I mean, I mean I don't know the game. We didn't come up with the game, but the name, I know. The name of the game. Literally beat the shit out of each other until someone falls off the sofa. And you know what? I feel I find myself being a right like um what's the word? Hypocrite. Because Cass and Jackson don't stop fucking fighting and it drives me nuts. They both kick the shit out of each other. Jackson is scrappy and he still managed to kick the shit out of Cass. Jackson's like me. But I'm like, I I get so mad, I'm like, can you stop? What are you gonna get hurt? And then one of them gets hurt, I'm like, for fuck's sake. But then like, we used to do this stubborn shit all the time. We were terrible. Yeah. I think it's because there were three of us, it used to get really fucking violent really quickly. I remember you used to jump off the side of the sofa onto us, like doing the thing right here. Yeah, you did. It was yeah. Anyway, pile up. We need to get through this, else we're never gonna get through this. We were already talking 44 minutes. Crazy town. Um but basically, ancient people saw this dance under the full moon, the dance, and then in quotation marks, basically the hairs kicking the shit out of each other or punching each other. Umcing. Well, they're kind of boxing, it's like a boxing dance, I guess. But basically, they saw this under the full moon and thought hares were possessed. Um, because Easter is based on the lunar cycle, the hare became the gatekeeper of the moon. And in some cultures, they didn't see a man in the moon, they saw a hare. Right. Yeah. Makes sense. Yeah, it makes the it makes the whole holiday feel way more pagan. Yeah. And like, yeah. As weird and crazy as it is, like that the whole like origin of it all. I believe that more than the Christian version. Yeah. And apparently you weren't just hunting for eggs, you were participating in a ritual to appease a moon creature that could decide if your family ate that year. So that is why you search for the that's a whole thing. It's like it's not like um you're searching for chocolate eggs, but it's more of the fact that you're hoping that you're you're trying to make this goddess happy. Is it the goddess? The hairs? The hairs happy? I don't even know who it is at this point. You're trying to make someone happy so you don't get completely fucked for the year. Yeah. You're appeasing the gods so they don't give you a shit harvest. Yeah, that is basically it. So maybe that is why our farmers are really fucking struggling nowadays because of the weather, because nobody's appeasing the gods. Yeah, that's very true. Everyone's been bad this year. You're telling me. Um fucking Epstein vial, that's enough to bloody put the whole bloody world gone. Yeah. That didn't even make sense. That's a f it's fine. Great English. So the next time you see chocolate bunnies, um, look closely at those little eyes. No, thank you. And just remember the original version never closed them. Which is terrifying. Because that's why they like when I said at the start, the bunnies don't close their eyes because the hairs just don't. They're just creepy as shit. Yeah, they are. Um, and yeah, so the uh the original the original version never closed their eyes and was watching for sins, and he was probably a shape-shifting witch or your neighbour. So yeah. I always knew Deirdre, it was a bit weird. That's why we don't trust our neighbours. Love thy neighbour, no, thank you. That one's in my garden right now, taking a shit. And why is it an egg? So, yeah. That is the the uh the story of the Easter bunny or the Easter hare. I Could have been my whole life without ever having to hear that. And I would have been happy. Well, you didn't want to know that the Easter bunny is actually a chick. Well, a dying bird that was frozen, that got turned into a bunny, or it turned into a hare, so it can lay eggs once a year, and then it will come to your house and judge you. And then if you've been naughty, it's gonna ruin your harvest. And also, it could be judging you because it's a witch that's actually your neighbour that's in your garden. You didn't need to know that. Wow. Let me open up my phone because it's just locked itself.

SPEAKER_00 44:51

You would have smack her in the face then. I wasn't gonna smack her in the face. I was looking at a beautiful face.

SPEAKER_01 45:06

Now that we've talked about that creepy ass hair took a picture, by the way. I thought with Instagram, it can show what we're doing.

SPEAKER_00 45:17

I know you wanted your picture taken. I really did not. Thanks for that.

SPEAKER_01 45:25

It's fine, my picture quality's shit. Anyway, let's carry on. We've talked about the hair. We have that creepy ass hair. But now we're going to talk about what we were doing while the hair was watching us. Oh. Oh. I uh it's almost as if I found the information for you for this. It's a time. But you never read it. I did not. I have this bad habit of um let's just face it, we do get the AI to come up with some of our stories. Not come up with but do the research for us because half the time we've been so busy that I also like to make sure all of the facts are as true as possible, and the only way to do that is to really get Gemini to find that out. Yes, because otherwise you're gonna go through one website and it's like, oh yeah, this is a story, and the other one is like, no, that's not the story, this is a story. So some for some other episodes we do do this, and I have found this part of the story. Origin. I don't know, but it ties in very nicely to this part, but I have not read it because I want to be surprised. I like being surprised. So we'll be surprising each other. Because I've not even read it either. I mean just don't shit out an egg. I will try not to. Okay. So for a few hundred years, the days leading up to Easter were basically the purge.

SPEAKER_00 46:55

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 46:56

So in places like Sweden and Finland, the Thursday before Easter, Monday Thursday, apparently. Monday Thursday. Mon Mon Monday? Monday. Right. Yeah. M-A-U-N-D-Y. Monday Thursday. Was terrifying. People believe that this was the night the Easter witches, also known as Pascaringa. Okay. I love the names. It's like a really weird thing with all the little that accents on the um So I don't know how to say that. It could be anything. Yeah. Basically it could it could be anything. They flew over a place called Balak Balakullah. Balacalava.

SPEAKER_00 47:47

Balakula Blacker Black colour.

SPEAKER_01 47:56

Black colour. Can't be colour. It's B-L-A with a circle above it. K-U-L-L-A. I don't know. That sounds very confusing. Yeah. Black colour. It wasn't yeah. Anyway. But it wasn't a fun broomstick ride. Okay. Like, uh, woo, let's go for a ride. It wasn't that. They believe these witches were going to a literal demonic party on a hidden island to dance with the devil. Sounds like Epstein's Island. I literally had that in my head. It's like this has been going on for a while then. Well, they did say that they're like cloned themselves. Yeah. You know, jumping into other people's bodies. Makes sense. It makes a lot of sense. So here's the twist. To stop them from stealing your soul or your livestock on their way out, you had to hide everything. Oh. Like everything. People would hide their brooms, their rakes, even their shovels. Because if a witch couldn't find a broom, she supposedly would ride your cow or your sheep to the island until the animal died of exhaustion. Oh my god, I need to see that. I need to see that. That's when the nursery rhyme came. The cow jumped over the moon. It's because the witch was riding it. Maybe, maybe that's what it is. Something like the cow jumped over the moon. Something to do with something laughing out loud and the dish ran away with the spoon. Yeah. Well, maybe the spoon and the dish ran away because I didn't want to be ridden. Maybe it was taken by the spoon liquor and bowl liquor. Maybe. Maybe. Oh. So yeah, imagine waking up on Good Friday and your whole livelihood just gone. Because you left your broom on a porch. Yeah. I mean, wouldn't you want to rather just leave a broom out and then put your cows away? You would have thought. What's more valuable?

SPEAKER_00 50:15

Your livestock?

SPEAKER_01 50:16

Or your broom? I don't want a cow being ridden until it dies of exhaustion. Yes, because if she couldn't find it, she'd just plow and take your cow or your your sheep. I mean, surely that's your first thought of call would be a a cow or something instead of a broom. Well apparently, but it at least your broom won't die of exhaustion. I guess so, but does do the broom Okay. They can make a broom fly, right? Yeah. Why can't they make the cow fly? Unless the broom doesn't actually fly. But they'd ride to an island, so it would technically fly? Because how are you gonna get out over the sea? I don't know. I'm guessing it flies. All I can think of is these crazy neighbours like running with do you know um how you can do you that they've got like um oh my god, what am I saying? There's like the competitions now where you can ride the broom horse. Oh yeah, yeah, the little toy horse on a stick. It's an actual like sport. Well, did you not know that? It's an actual sport, like there's competitions on like dressage and how well you can jump on it. It's an actual thing. Um all I can think of is that's what the witches do. They just pretend to run. They pretend that they're flying. It's actually all of the drunken neighbors running. It's the neighbours that have been harvesting all these mushrooms thinking they were normal mushrooms. Getting high as a kite on the room. No, no, no. And then just riding these brews. It's not the mushrooms, it's they're eating all these weird eggs that come out of this hair's bum. That's true. That is true. And they're just riding these little things round thinking that they're going on an island when actually they're just jumping over a puddle.

SPEAKER_00 52:16

Crossing the great sea.

SPEAKER_01 52:20

Oh yes, I think that's the correct thing that's happened. Wow.

SPEAKER_00 52:29

So after that, we then have Good Friday. Yeah. And this is where it gets quite quiet. Quiet. Yeah. Unnervingly quiet.

SPEAKER_01 52:47

So in old in old European folklore, Good Friday was the day the barrier between our world and the spirit world just dissolved. Huh. Because Jesus was gone in quotation Marx, right. The world was temporarily unprotected. Huh. So there's a magic mirror the mirror. There's some creepy superstitions around this. Okay. So you have the mirror rule. You weren't allowed to look in the mirror on Good Friday. Why? Because people believed that since the light, in quotation marks, was out of the world, a mirror wouldn't reflect your soul. It would show you a demon or a hollow version of yourself. Oh.

SPEAKER_00 53:49

That's gross.

SPEAKER_01 53:52

Imagine that. Just look in the mirror and just having this weird creepy ass. The mirror's really freak me out as it is. I can't if I look in the mirror too long, I'm like, am I actually looking at myself? I get freaked out.

SPEAKER_00 54:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:05

I don't like that. I will not be looking in the mirror on Good Friday now. There's also the iron prohibition. The what? Iron prohibition. So you you couldn't use anything made of iron. Like at all. No sewing, no blacksmithing, no nails. Because the belief is that using iron on the day of the crucifixion was like renailing the cross. Oh. And people thought the ground itself was cursed that day, and if you stepped on it too hard, you'd wake up something ancient and angry underneath.

SPEAKER_00 54:48

Hmm. How lovely.

SPEAKER_01 54:50

Hmm.

SPEAKER_00 54:52

So now I know on Good Friday. Don't look in a mirror and don't use anything iron. Yep. I no, I don't like that. Hmm. Well say it makes me want to do something with iron and try and wake something up.

SPEAKER_01 55:13

Don't we're already having World War III literally breaking out. Exactly. Let's just let's add someone else to the party. Get that one to take out. What if they just took out Trump? Yeah. We wouldn't have these problems. Exactly. So maybe we could wake this thing up and ask it. Go on. Go get the Cheetos. Is it the but the devil you know or the devil you don't know? Yeah. I don't know Trump very well, but um I don't think anybody does because a lot of people 'cause people voted him in because one, because they're stupid.

SPEAKER_00 55:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 55:46

Sorry, if you voted him in and now you're thinking, oh maybe I shouldn't have done. But this is what you voted for. Like. But two because he had this whole like anti-war thing, like, I'm not gonna go and put us all into world. He's now in war. Yeah. But it's because he's trying to distract us from Met scene. I know. Because he's fucking stupid. And thinks that we're just gonna be like, oh well, forget about it. Mm-hmm. No. No no no. We the war, I don't give a crap out the war right now. War's been going on for a long time. And yeah, they're getting closer to home, and yeah, it's gonna be fucking awful. But right now I'm focused on the upscale files. Yep. That that that's my view on it. Yep. If you just put your guns down and your nukes down and all the other crap and just stop being stupid about it. Mm-hmm. If women ruled the world, this wouldn't happen. Yeah, we would 100%. There wouldn't be wars. Nobody would be like, I'm not talking to you anymore, I'm gonna nuke you. There wouldn't be wars. Right, let's get back to Yeah. Sorry. I get yeah. Women should rule the world.

SPEAKER_00 57:08

Anyway. Back to the eggs. Okay. The red eggs. Ooh.

SPEAKER_01 57:17

And the ghost feast. Okay, I was only just pretending that like I was just throwing out things about them being red, but I am pretty impressed with myself.

SPEAKER_00 57:28

Mm-hmm. So in Eastern Europe and Georgia, they dyed eggs a deep, dark blood red.

SPEAKER_01 57:40

And they're and they don't hide them in the grass for kids. Where do they um cemetery? Jeez. So these families would go to the graves of their loved ones and they'd roll the red eggs over the dirt and literally have a picnic on the grave. Why did they go in red? I don't know. They believe that on Easter the dead were reborn for a single day alongside the resurrection. Right. So because Jesus was like, I'm reborn, I've risen from the dead, they're like, My family can too.

SPEAKER_00 58:26

Just give them a a red egg.

SPEAKER_01 58:29

They'd pour wine onto the soil and leave pieces of bread. So they're wasting some wine.

unknown 58:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 58:39

So I don't know why they've dyed them red. But I suppose it's to match the wine. Makes it look nice with the wine. Why are people super weird with wine? Just drink it. Because Enjoy the wine. Yeah, no, you know when like you're watching these films and they're like they get out of this like brand new bottle of like well, it's not brand new, it's like a hundred-year-old bottle of Bourbon or something. Bourbon, Bourbon, I don't think it's a big lost those biscuits. Yeah. Like whiskey or whatever. Really fucking vintage bottle, like best thing. And then they just uncork it and then just pour it onto the ground. Yeah. I'll have one last drink. They're not drinking it. No. You just wasted it. And you just made the Why don't you sit there, drink the bottle? Yeah. You're not just give them the bowl. Just give them the empty bottle, if anything. You're not allowed to leave empty glass bottles. That's why they pour them onto the grave. They don't leave the bottle there. You're not allowed to leave glass. You're you're allowed to pour spirits into the ground. Spirit for the spirit. Well, they they've they're leaving wine. No, no, they're drinking the wine. And pouring it into the soil. And they literally like pieces of bread. Yeah, let's just leave stuff for rats. It's a great idea. Yeah. So imagine walking through the graveyard at dusk and seeing hundreds of families laughing and eating dinner on top of headstones. And it's like. Yeah, but I'd also be thinking, why is there so much fucking bread around? Like it'll be really nice. Like, you know, like in Mexico, they have the dead the dead and they like have like features. That sounds like fun. That sounds like they're just like if I'm sorry. If my whole family's having a really nice picnic and someone leaves me crusts of bread, and if I wasn't actually leave like plates of food and like fruit and stuff like that. If I was to rise from the dead, I'm not drinking the wine out of the soil. Yeah. Put it in a little I don't know, make me a cup out of coconut shell or something. And put put my wine in there. And then I can drink it at least. Yeah, and I don't want breadcrumbs. Yeah, leave me a roast dinner.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:05

Yeah. Or some natural chocolate. Mmm. Hmm. That's a little Easter picnic. Is there anything else? Or is that it? Well, we have got the modern Easter hag.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:27

If you'd like to get into that one. Yeah, why not? Yeah? We got time? So it's a matter of blabbering on that we've done, we probably can edit half of that out. Yeah, I have to cut a lot of stuff out anyway, so I think we've got enough time for one last one last thing. In Scandinavia today, kids still dress up as Easter hags. Like I've done this in quotation marks. Not that you can see, but with headscarves and red painted cheeks, and they'd go door to door for candy, just like on Halloween. So we've turned the night the witches fly into a cute neighbourhood activity. We took the Judge Hare and turned him into a stuffed animal. Yeah. But the history is still there, lurking in the background. So if you're out over the weekend, Good Friday and Easter, and you see a rabbit sitting perfectly still in a field staring at you with its wide, unblinking eyes. Or if you find an old broom laying where it shouldn't be, just remember. Easter isn't just about the rebirth of Jesus. Sometimes the old shadows come back for a visit to Yeah, and the hair might be your neighbour, Harry. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:53

So stay safe, Abba. Don't look in the mirrors. And we'll see you next week. That's not the end. I know. So that was the end of the notes. But why are you saying we'll see you next week? I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:12

Because it just didn't it didn't feel like an end. End. So you had to end it. I had to end it, yeah. Oh geez. I really do like the fact that the hair could either be a duck not a duck, a bird that got turned into a hare that has to poop out eggs once a year. To it could be your neighbour that's turned into a is shape shifting into a hare and is gonna come judge you. And also steal your broom. And if you hide your broom, she'll steal your cow. Yeah. Or ruin your whole entire fucking life. Yeah. Yeah. So make sure you uh make sure your kids are acting very pleasant this this Easter. I'm gonna be screwed. Yeah, me too. My kids are gonna fucking screw me over. This is why every year I'm like, yep, another year of being in debt. These fuckers are acting like assholes. The hairs, they're everywhere. They're looking at me, saying, Yep, judged you. Even though I'm the one pooping out eggs. And I'm not meant to be. But you're pooping out eggs? No. The hair. You know, and Susan over the road. There was a little lurking group. Lurking around, waiting to steal my cows on my garden. Not that I have any, but I might invest in some. You never know. Things are getting weird over here, guys. But um very weird. Thank you so much for listening to today, and I hope you've learned something. Don't trust your neighbours if they if you see your hair. If it's staring at you, just blink at it and say, ha. Yeah. I can blink bitch. Maybe give it some um what's that stuff? Witch hazel. Witch hazel oil or whatever it is, the witch hazel water. And make it all pad up for its bum because it's pooping out eggs this time of year. Oh god, yeah, the witch it is witch hazel, yeah. Cooling pads. Make it a little cooling pad for its butthole, because it's pooping out these eggs once a year. You know, must-hut. Yeah, must-hut. It's not an actual duck or a bird. Arya, I'm trying to end this podcast. You do not need to be snorting and making sound at me. She wants to talk too. Leave her be. You are muted for the time being, until you can talk when you're cute. Right now you sound like a pig. No, she's a little potato. She's frowning at you right now. Anyway, thank you so much guys for listening for today's episode and we hope that you have learnt something or maybe not, maybe just lost I don't know, an hour and twenty of your life. Sorry if we've ruined Easter for you. Yeah. Oh we've made it more fun. Yeah. And now if your kids play up, you can now tell them that they're gonna ruin your hair is judging you. And if they're naughty, your whole farm's gonna go to shit. I tell you what, I might actually start using that one on them. What you should do is you should make a little like mini farm. Like get some like not real animals, like make up a farm, and every time they're naughty, you take one away, you take an animal away, and go, oh, I was thinking the witch has stole your cow. I was thinking more of like getting like watercress, right? Making it look like a little farm, but then having a load of dried watercress somewhere and replacing one for part of the field with dead. That's a good idea. And you go, nope, now that family down the road is not eating because there's not enough crops for them. They're not gonna make it through the winter. If you kill this family, no more switches. You've got to keep this family alive. You're down three pigs and a cow. That sheep looks a bit suspicious. Beatrice is gonna come over from over the road. Beatrice Potter, the rabbit. I've tried ending this episode like five times now. Right. Anyway. Thank you so much for listening today, guys. We will be back next week, hopefully. Ideally, we will be pretty sure we will be next week for the Epstein Files part two. Um, so that's gonna get super dark. So enjoy this fun episode today because next week probably won't be very fun. Mm-hmm. It's gonna get dark and horrible. But yeah. And I'll probably get mad again. Yes, but anyway, thank you so much, guys. Leave in the comments below what your favourite fact is and which neighbour you think will be. Yeah, which neighbour do you think is a hair? Yeah. And like what's you know, just being like your number 37. I don't know. And and also tell us why. Yeah. Because I want to know if it's Gladys that's been a little bit weird and she's always one staring out our window. I just I just uh I like the gossip. Oh, I do. See, I like my neighbours. I do like my neighbours. I didn't think I have any weird neighbours yet. I have weird neighbours. Oh, actually, no. The neighbour across the road. I feel sorry for him because anyway, no, we are ending the episode. Goodbye, guys. Bye.